Standing is not about faking the process. I remember being told to put on a smile while the pain was overwhelming.
Act like it don’t hurt. But it did hurt. I had to make a conscious decision to not act like it doesn’t hurt. But to address the pain and feel it, but also to take it back to God.
Love like you’ve never been hurt was like a metaphor on repeat. 🔁 I thought it was foolish and I didn’t understand it not one bit!
I couldn’t love like I never been hurt until I first prayed for God to heal me of the pain.
I didn’t want the connection of pain and love in the same sentence. I wanted God to cure me so I could love like I never been hurt.
I didn’t want the wound nor did I want the scar left behind to remind me of what I had been through in my marriage.
This took a lot of seeking God and understanding that the pain I was feeling is what God was feeling.
God made me feel how He felt at times it was quite overwhelming. My eyes would wail in tears.
Then God said, “what you are are enduring is what is being done unto me. Your spouse isn’t rejecting you he is rejecting me. The Christ in you is what he is rejecting.”
That hit me hard!
Like a ton of bricks!
I cannot lie and say the revelation made me feel better. But I had to understand what I was enduring in my marriage is what Christ was enduring concerning His son.
God literally said, “stop making this process about you! It’s not about you this is about me and my son.I will travel the ends of the earth until he is saved. He will not die in this!”
My heart begin to break understanding this stand was not about me, or my marriage, it was about the soul of my spouse and his Father wanting him so badly to be free that He called me to stand for his freedom. This was about my children and my legacy. This was about my our purpose joining forces with the Kingdom of Heaven.
I know not easy loving a spouse that you cannot show love to back without being rejected.
Or a spouse that doesn’t reciprocate the same effort you give.
Or a spouse that reject your efforts all together.
I want to tell you stop ignoring the wounds. Take it before God to heal you of all the pain. Deal with the pain now. Heal from the hurt and the trauma.
As God restores understand healing is part of the preparation process as your spouse returns back to God and back home.
Don’t lose hope. I know standing for the salvation of a spouse it is not common.
As a believer you aren’t called to do what is common but only to obey the voice of God.
The instructions of God is uncommon to a dying world in need of a Savior!
Your stand is much greater than you.
—Jacie Hutchins